Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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