Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
