she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
