i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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