I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
