You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
