my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
