Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I am mentally ready for anal.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
