four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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