Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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