how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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