I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
