Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
that may or may not have been my penis.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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