The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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