I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
