please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Operation Purity has been aborted
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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