We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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