If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
