Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize