No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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