i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
we're making bets on your personal life
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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