he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
