Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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