Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
