to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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