she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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