nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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