This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
