Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
