brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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