i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
