the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
