You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Randomize
