sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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