So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
