the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I think I am morally bankrupt
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
