He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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