1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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