I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
