Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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