U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
