I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
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