And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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