We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize