they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
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