We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
