So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
