it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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