the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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