Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
