____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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