We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
My vagina just clenched in fear
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