tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
