he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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