Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
