TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
