I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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