3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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