just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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