I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
