please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize