I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
