And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
