I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
